This Christmas season, I want to challenge and bless your teams with an idea that has the power to transform not just the way you work, but the way you view life. Inspired by Will Guidara’s incredible book Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect, this concept has profoundly shaped my business, Boken, and my approach to leadership. I’ve seen firsthand how embracing this principle can create a culture of connection, meaning, and transformation—whether you’re leading a church, a startup, or a business.
Unreasonable hospitality isn’t just a strategy; it’s a mindset, an art form, and a way of seeing others as deserving of extraordinary care. This Christmas, I invite you to take this principle and weave it into the fabric of your teams, your customer interactions, and your community outreach.
What is Unreasonable Hospitality?
Will Guidara’s book tells the story of how Eleven Madison Park became one of the best restaurants in the world—not through flashy marketing or culinary perfection, but by redefining hospitality. Guidara’s team mastered the art of surprising and delighting guests, going far beyond their expectations to create moments that mattered.
Unreasonable hospitality is about more than generosity—it’s about making people feel deeply seen, valued, and appreciated. It’s the kind of hospitality that turns transactions into relationships, customers into lifelong fans, and visitors into family.
As Guidara writes, “Hospitality, at its core, is about how you make people feel. It’s not a checklist; it’s a mindset.” And that mindset is something every church, business, and startup can adopt.
Why It Matters This Christmas
The Christmas season is inherently emotional. People are seeking connection, meaning, and joy. But for many, it’s also a time of stress, loneliness, and unmet expectations. When we embrace unreasonable hospitality, we have the chance to meet people where they are and give them something they didn’t even know they needed: the gift of being valued.
Compelling Stats to Inspire Action
- 81% of customers say a positive experience increases their likelihood of repeat business (Zendesk).
- 90% of customers who feel appreciated will recommend a brand to others (HubSpot).
- Churches that emphasize welcoming and relational connections see a 38% increase in visitor retention (Barna).
- Emotional connection is the biggest driver of customer loyalty, more than price or product (Harvard Business Review).
When we give more than expected, we create moments that linger in the hearts of those we serve—and those moments can transform their loyalty, engagement, and lives.
How to Coach Your Teams for Unreasonable Hospitality
To bring this principle to life, leaders must empower their teams to embody unreasonable hospitality. Here’s how:
1. Shift the Mindset
- Teach the “Why”: Help your teams understand that hospitality is about creating moments of meaning, not just completing tasks. Share stories of small gestures that have had big impacts.
- Encourage Creativity: Ask, “What’s one thing we can do that no one expects?” Challenge your team to think outside the box.
2. Empower Action
- Give Permission: Remove barriers to going above and beyond. Empower your team to act on opportunities to create meaningful moments without needing layers of approval.
- Equip with Resources: Provide small budgets, tools, or kits for spontaneous gestures of kindness—a handwritten note, a complimentary gift, or even a small act of service.
3. Lead by Example
- Model the Behavior: Show your team what unreasonable hospitality looks like. Whether it’s personally greeting someone or surprising a visitor with a small act of kindness, let your actions set the tone.
- Celebrate Stories: Highlight moments of extraordinary hospitality in team meetings or newsletters. Use these stories to inspire and reinforce the value of going above and beyond.
Practical Applications for Churches, Businesses, and Startups
For Churches
- First-Time Visitor Gifts: Surprise new visitors with a thoughtful gift bag, including a handwritten note or small book.
- Hospitality Stations: Offer free cocoa or coffee alongside spaces for prayer or reflection.
- Volunteer Care: Personally thank your volunteers with small, personalized gifts or heartfelt notes.
For Businesses
- Registers and Checkouts: Train cashiers to engage customers warmly. Surprise them with small tokens like candy canes or handwritten thank-you notes.
- E-commerce Delight: Include holiday-themed thank-you cards or small surprise gifts in online orders.
- Pop-Up Acts of Kindness: Host an in-store or virtual event that spreads holiday cheer, like free gift wrapping or a “pay-it-forward” campaign.
For Startups
- Customer Surprises: Send personalized emails with unexpected discounts or thank-you messages.
- Team Care Packages: Treat your employees to thoughtful gifts or extra time off to show appreciation.
- Social Media Engagement: Run a “12 Days of Kindness” campaign, encouraging followers to share and celebrate small acts of kindness.
Stories to Inspire Your Team
The Coffee Shop That Sparked Joy
A small coffee shop started a “pay-it-forward” initiative where customers could buy a coffee for the next person in line. The ripple effect of generosity brought smiles, gratitude, and dozens of new regulars who loved the shop’s heart for the community.
The Airline That Made a Child’s Day
After a child left their beloved stuffed animal on a flight, the airline not only returned it but sent photos of the toy’s “adventures” in the airport. This unexpected gesture went viral, creating lifelong goodwill for the brand.
The Church That Brought Christmas Home
A congregation learned of a single mother unable to provide a Christmas dinner. They rallied to surprise her with a fully decorated tree, gifts for her children, and enough groceries for the month. The family not only felt loved—they joined the church and became active members.
The ROI of Unreasonable Hospitality
While unreasonable hospitality isn’t about the return, the impact is undeniable:
- Stronger Loyalty: People remember how you make them feel, creating lasting relationships.
- Increased Word-of-Mouth: Acts of kindness become stories that people love to share.
- Brand Differentiation: In a world of automation, personal care makes you stand out.
This Christmas, Choose Connection
As leaders, we have the chance to make this Christmas season unforgettable—not through grand gestures, but through meaningful ones. Whether you lead a church, a business, or a startup, you can transform the way your team connects with others by adopting unreasonable hospitality.
Here’s your challenge:
- How can your organization surprise and delight those you serve this Christmas?
- What small, unexpected gesture can you give that creates a moment of joy or connection?
- How can you model unreasonable hospitality to inspire your team?
This principle has changed my business, my leadership, and my life. I’m grateful to Will Guidara for sharing this powerful idea in his book, which I highly recommend. It’s a game-changer—not just for work, but for how we view our relationships and purpose.
Let’s make this Christmas about more than transactions or tradition. Let’s make it about connection, meaning, and generosity. Let’s give the gift of unreasonable hospitality—and watch it transform our teams, communities, and hearts.
